Mary's top picks:

Telling the Truth to Your Foster or Adopted Child: Making Sense of the Past by Besty Keefer and Jayne Schooler.
Parents often ask me, "Do I need to tell my child about the past? I don't want her to be hurt." Yes, it's important to tell your child about his/her past. Even when this is hard to do. This is the best book I've found to help you find the words to tell your child information that is difficult to tell, and difficult for the child to hear. The book gives you the words to use when talking to your child at different ages and developmental stages. A must for all adoptive parents. Available from Tapestry Books.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
When I read this book, I was amazed at how many of the "twenty things" I wished my parents knew when I was growing up. This is a great book to help parents understand what kids are thinking, and a great book to help kids verbalize some of the wonderings and wanderings of their own minds. Available from Tapestry Books.

Because I Loved You: A Birthmother’s View of Open Adoption  by Patricia Dischler
This is more than a birthmother memoir. Patricia Dischler combines her own story as a birthmother with advice on how to support and counsel a birthmother.  Patricia's story points out how open adoption can strengthen every member of the adoption triangle. As an adoptee, this book helped me to understand what my own birthmother might have experienced. Available at PatriciaDischler.com

Casey's Unexpected Friend by Kate Stormer.
When Casey's parents bring home a sister, Casey is not too pleased. This new sister looks nothing like Casey, and in fact, is bigger than Casey! This illustrated children's book can help ease the transition of a new sibling into your home. Available from Casey's World Books.

An Unlit Path - One Family's Journey Toward The Light Of Truth by Deborah Hannah.
Deborah Hannah recounts her family's experience with foster care and adoption including struggles with reactive attachment disorder, sexual abuse, mental illness including childhood onset schizophrenia, and false allegations.  A Christian theme of understanding, acceptance and forgiveness is felt throughout the book. This book will resonate with many families experiencing similar strains on family life, and I also recommend it for prospective foster and adoptive families and for professionals. Available from An Unlit Path.

Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb
This is another book that lets parents into the mind of an adopted child. If you've ever heard Holly van Gulden speak, you know that she imparts wisdom built on many years as an adoptive parent. Available from Tapestry Books.

Raising Adopted Children by Lois Ruskai Melina
Lois Melina gives practical advice on what to expect when raising a child you've adopted.  The adoption social workers I work with give this book to every couple waiting to adopt an infant. A timeless classic, important for all waiting parents. Available from Tapestry Books